Category: Humor


NewsBusted 5/21/13

 

Published on May 20, 2013

” TOPICS: 
– Obamacare
– Nancy Pelosi
– Congresswoman Janice Hahn
– New York City Elections
– Non-Citizen Voting
– Pets and Heart Disease
– Radio Host Randi Rhodes
– Sean Hannity
– Rush Limbaugh
– Youth Unemployment in Greece
– Twinkies
– Simon Cowell”

 

 

 

 

 

About these ads

The AR-15 Is More Than A Gun. It’s A Gadget

 

 

 

 

” In the past two decades, the AR-15 has evolved into an open, modular gun platform that’s infinitely hackable and accessorizable. With only a few simple tools and no gunsmithing expertise, an AR-15 can be heavily modified, or even assembled from scratch, from widely available parts to suit the fancy and fantasy of each individual user. In this respect, the AR-15 is the world’s first “maker” gun, and this is why its appeal extends well beyond the military enthusiasts that many anti-gun types presume make up its core demographic.”

 

 

 

 

” This is the gun-as-gadget, a relatively new consumer phenomenon born from the unholy union of the post-9/11 national security state and America’s decades-old obsession with hackable, high-performance hardware. From muscle cars to motorbikes to ultra-high-wattage stereo systems, Americans love to take their toys way over the top, and for all its deadliness and terrifying power, the AR-15 is a terrifically fun toy. “‘

 

 

 

 

 

 

SNL Cold Open Spoofs MSNBC’s ‘Politics Nation’ Host Al Sharpton

 

Sharpton_irs

 

 

 

” On the cold open of Saturday’s broadcast of NBC’s “Saturday Night Live,” Kenan Thompson impersonated of MSNBC “Politics Nation” host Al Sharpton, in a clip that also parodied Washington Post columnist Dana Milbank.

Thompson’s Sharpton fumbled his way through the show, proclaiming the tea party to be perturbed by the ‘irs,’ meaning the IRS, and previewed a clip of what was supposed to be Sen. Mitch McConnell, but wound up being Matthew McConaughey on Jimmy Fallon’s late-night show talking about eating sushi.

Also appearing was Jason Sudeikis playing Post scribe Milbank, whose first name Thompson’s Sharpton disapproved of.”

 

 

 

 

Introducing The Obama Scandal Bracket!

 

 

 

 

” With so many White House scandals—and new ones popping up every day—how are average citizens supposed to keep track? Wouldn’t it be nice if Obama went on ESPN and mapped them all on a bracket?”

 

 

 

 

 

Wife Was Caught Cheating. Paramour Attempts A Hilarious Escape Through The Window

 

 

Cheater_Sneaks_

 

 

 

Obama Under The Umbrella While Americans Are Getting Wet

 

 

 

Hating Breitbart In Some Theatres Now

 

 

Hating Breitbart

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tickets & Theaters

 

” The engaging new documentary HATING BREITBART is in select theaters on May 17th. See below for when it’s playing near you and get your tickets today.”

Now Playing

State City Theater Promote Ticket Info
AR Little Rock, AR Market Street Cinema
1521 Merrill Drive
Little Rock, AR 72211
(501) 312-8900
Get Web Banners TICKET INFO HERE!
CA Modesto, CA Brenden 18 Modesto
1021 10th Street
Modesto, CA 95354
(209) 491-7910
Get Web Banners TICKET INFO HERE!
CA Monterey, CA New Osio Cinemas 
350 Alvarado St.
Monterey, CA 93940
(831) 333-9199
Get Web Banners TICKET INFO HERE!
CA San Diego, CA Gaslamp Stadium 15
701 Fifth Avenue
San Diego, CA 92101
(619) 232-0401
Get Web Banners TICKET INFO HERE!
CA San Jose, CA Camera 3
288 South Second Street
San Jose, CA 95113
(408) 998-3300
Get Web Banners TICKET INFO HERE!
FL Miami, FL Palace 18 Cinemas
11865 SW 26 St.
Miami, FL 33175
(305) 221-1801
Get Web Banners TICKET INFO HERE!
FL Orlando, FL Touchstar Cinemas Southchase 7
12441 S. Orange Bloosom
Orlando, FL 32837
(407) 888-2025
Get Web Banners TICKET INFO HERE!
FL Tampa, FL AMC Veteran’s 24
9302 Anderson Rd.
Tampa, FL 33634
(813) 243-4881
Get Web Banners TICKET INFO HERE!
GA Atlanta, GA Plaza Theatre
1049 Ponce De Leon Avenue
Atlanta, GA 30306
(404) 873-1939
Get Web Banners  
HI Honolulu, HI Koko Marina 8
7192 Kalanianaole Highway
Honolulu, HI 96825
(808) 397-6134
Get Web Banners TICKET INFO HERE!
MI Brimingham, MI Birmingham 8
211 S. Woodward Rd.
Brimingham, MI 48302
(248) 644-3456
Get Web Banners TICKET INFO HERE!
MN Inver Grove Heights, MN Inver Grove 16
5561 Bishop Avenue
Inver Grove Heights, MN 55077
(651) 453-1916
Get Web Banners TICKET INFO HERE!
NY New York, NY Cinema Village
22 E. 12th St.
New York, NY 10003
(212) 924-3363
Get Web Banners TICKET INFO HERE!
OH Mentor, OH Atlas Cinema Great Lakes Stadium 16
7860 Mentor Avenue
Mentor, OH 44040
(440) 974-2200
Get Web Banners TICKET INFO HERE!
TX El Paso, TX Premiere 18
6101 Gateway West
El Paso, TX 79925
(915) 771-7900

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Caption The Photo: Eagles OL Evan Mathis Peeing On IRS Building Sign

 

View image on Twitter

 

” I hope Mathis doesn’t owe any Taxes, because I am sure an audit is coming his way now. He is straight on Instagram flexing,  Bleacher Report captured the photo before Chip Kelly makes him take it down and drink a protein shake (no more fast food at the Eagles camp).”

Another Pelosi Gem: GOP Makes So Much Of Scandals Because Obama Is ‘Such A Great President’

 

 

 

 

” Nancy Pelosi, like Joe Biden, is the gift that keeps on giving. Today she offered up more brilliant analysis as to why The GOP is “making so much” of the scandals: because Barack Obama in “such a great president.”

“They make so much of these issues, because this president is such a great president. He’s a visionary – you’ve heard me say this so many times.

This is a great president. He’s a visionary. He has a knowledge of our country, concerns of the American people that give him judgment as to what plan we should have to go forward to strengthen the middle class.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Police Chief Asks Citizens For Ammo, Gets 1,500 Round Loan Amid Strong Response

 

Proctor_Ammo_Shortage

 

 

 

” As the “Great Ammunition Shortage” continues, police departments across the country are struggling to supply their arsenals. One police chief turned to the community for help, and citizens stepped up.

When Wobig turned to the residents of Proctor by putting out a call for help meeting his department’s ammo needs, citizens contacted his office, eager to help.

“The citizens were like, ‘If you need something, we got plenty here,’” said Wobig.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Right Wing News

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jon Stewart Blasts President: Obama Learns About Scandals by Watching the News?

HT/ IJR

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Jon Stewart Slams Obama Over The IRS Scandal

 

THIS HILARIOUS GAS STATION KARAOKE PRANK MIGHT MAKE YOU LAUGH OUT LOUD

 

 

 

 

” Being the victim of a prank isn’t always fun.  Sometimes you walk away and do your best not to be drawn in, but other times you happily join in the laughter.

On a recent episode of “The Tonight Show,” one couple was on the receiving end of a prank at the gas station, and it could not have happened to any better two people.  The husband was asked to sing a song for a free tank of gas, and not only do you get the most enthusiastic “Livin’ on a Prayer” you’ve ever heard (as his wife dies of laughter in the car), the wife eventually hops out and sings “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” like a super star with some hilarious background notes from her husband.

MSN Now describes the hilarious way the couple, identified as Will and Monifa Sims, was approached:”

Read More

 

 

Jon Stewart Takes CNN To Task With Epic Mockery Of Network’s Jodi Arias Trial Coverage

 

” Jon Stewart has repeatedly ridiculed and slammed CNN in the past few weeks, most recently on Monday during an interview with Christiane Amanpour. He gave the cable network a brief respite Tuesday night before going right back to hammering them for one particularly odd moment in their otherwise unexciting coverage of the Jodi Arias trial: Ashleigh Banfield doing a satellite interview with Nancy Grace… when the two of them were a few feet away from each other in the same Arizona parking lot.

Stewart explained how Banfield and Grace were set up as if they were in different locations, it’s pretty obvious that the same vehicles are going through both shots. Which meant either they were sitting pretty close to each other or, as Stewart hypothesized, it could be that Arizona is plagued by a “seven-mile long Bus Ness Monster.”

Stewart was amazed by the audacity of CNN making his “pretty shameful” gesture, though he figured it could have been because Banfield has taken out a restraining order against Nancy Grace. They did try to create the illusion of not being so close to each other, and when Grace couldn’t hear Banfield right, Stewart just shouted at her to “take your finger out of your fucking ear because she’s right there!” He asked, “Is anyone at CNN allowed indoors anymore?” “

HT/IJR

 

The USS Barack H Obama

 

 

 

” The ship is the first of its kind in the U.S. Navy and is a standing legacy to President Barack Obama for his foresight in military budget cuts and his conduct while President.

The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminium and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be launched or captured on the 100 foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence.

As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board.

The 20 person crew is completely diversified, including members of all races, creeds, ***, and ****** orientation.

The crew is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of America at all costs!

An on – board Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the U.S. Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.

The ship’s purpose is not defined so much as a unit of national defence, but instead in times of conflict, the USS Barack Obama has orders to seek refuge in the military free zone of San Francisco Bay.

The ship may be positioned near the Democrat Party Headquarters for photo – ops.

The Obamas are said to be very proud.”

 

Chinese Girl Soldier Throws Grenade Like A Girl, Almost Gets Blown Away

Throw_Like_A_Girl

” As the “Sandlot” character great American Ham Porter once hollered across the green fields of Los Angeles, this Chinese trooper throws grenades “like a girl.” “

 

 

 

 

” Fortunately for this less-than-athletic Chinese woman, another soldier was on hand to toss her ass before it became grass.”

 

Marlin Magazine

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Girls Just Wanna Have Guns

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHAT MONTY PYTHON CAN TEACH CONSERVATIVES ABOUT SEQUESTER POLITICS

 

 

 

 

 

” One of my favorite Monty Python movies excerpted on the channel is Life of Brian. The film’s stoning scene is actually very instructive for today’s Republican party. In fact, a comment made by the person about to be stoned should be front and center in the mind of every Republican who ever proposes cuts in government spending.

Sounds a little far-fetched, but let me explain.

The scene starts like this: in Jerusalem, 33 AD, a man is brought in front of a crowd holding stones, and a magistrate announces the defendant’s name and the conviction of blasphemy. The sentence will be death by stoning.

The magistrate yells out the charge of “blasphemer,” as the man was caught saying the name of Jehovah, and angrily points at the defendant. The defendant explains that he was merely complimenting his wife’s cooking, saying it was “good enough for Jehovah.” The crowd gasps, ready to start the stoning, and the magistrate yells “he said it again!” The prisoner says “what, Jehovah?” The magistrate shouts “hey, you’re only making it worse for yourself!” To which the man says “how can it get any worse?”

Then he begins dancing and crying out “Jehovah! Jehovah!” to the outraged crowd. But you can’t really blame the guy. If ever he had any inclination to say the name “Jehovah” out loud, he might as well say it now and as many times as he wants. He is about to get stoned to death for saying it anyway. At this point he really has nothing to lose, and it certainly won’t get worse than getting stoned to death.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baby With Pants Down Wanders In, Chills Out During Rockets-Thunder Postgame Show

 

Pants_Down

 

 

 

” After the Houston Rockets went into Chesapeake Energy Arena and confidently took down the Oklahoma City Thunder in Game 5 on Wednesday, CSN Houston brought gleeful Rockets fans all the relevant news and notes from the big series-extending road win — James Harden‘s fantastic shooting performance, the Thunder’s failed “Hack-a-Whatever-His-Name-Is” strategy, the eighth-seeded Rockets’ chances of forcing a winner-take-all Game 7 back in OKC … and, of course, most importantly, the baby with its pants down wandering out into the middle of the camera shot.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Single Rednecks

 

 

 

 

 

 

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