Category: Humor


Thief Knocks Himself Out With Brick After Failed Carjacking

 

 

 

Published on Mar 1, 2015

” http://www.vladtv.com – A man from Ireland was jailed and embarrassed after he knocked himself out with a brick during a failed carjacking attempt.

  According to the Huffington Post, Gerry Brady talked to reporters about the incident when he found the man knocked out near his vehicle. Brady, who owns the local bar nearby says he watched the culprit attempt to break into his car several times. After a rock didn’t break the window, he tries to use a brick and knocks himself out. Brady says the suspect tried to tell the police he was the one who injured him, but they discovered his own actions caused the entire thing.

” You should have heard the [guards] laughing when they saw the video,” Brady said. “They were in stitches. Credit to them, they were straight out when we called and found the guy within minutes.”

  The culprit was arrested while police continue to investigate the incident.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Naked Man Caught Jumping Out Of Buckingham Palace Window In Internet Hoax

 

 

 

” A video clip that claims to show a naked man climbing out of a window at Buckingham Palace using a bed sheet has started an online debate as to whether it is real or not.

  The video shows some Swedish tourists watching the Changing of the Guard near Green Park.

  Buckingham Palace declined to comment on the video and the Metropolitan Police said they have had no reports of the incident.”

The Telegraph

Stolen Home Found: Entire House Just A Few Miles Away, Sold To New Owner

 

” The mystery of the stolen home is solved — kind of. The building was found a few miles away from the scene of the crime. Still many questions remain: when was the house moved? Who moved it? And most importantly, who owns the home to begin with?

  As previously reported on the Inquisitr, an entire house (not a mobile home, or a motor home) was stolen. The home was 1,200 square feet, yet the burglars managed to take it right off the street in Klamath County, Oregon. Luckily, no one was living inside at the time.

  The original police complaint was filed on Tuesday. When people heard the audacious tale of a whole house being taken, the story went viral.

  The news quickly got around to local residents, who recognized the house and knew where it was parked.”

Read more on the appropriated abode at the Inquisitr

Planet Of The Llamas

 

 

 

 

 

 

” On Thursday, I kept my weekly date on The Hugh Hewitt Show, just in time for the big news of the day:

  HUGH HEWITT: Now we’ve got a lot to cover. We’ve got to cover llamas, the Oscars and the Islamic State, not to mention Chris Christie, so I’ve got to go fast. Did you by chance watch the llama drama on Fox today?

  MARK STEYN: (laughing) Yeah, the llamas on the llam. You can joke, Hugh, but I think the llamapocalypse is upon us. I looked out in the yard, out of the window at the yard about 20 minutes ago, and there were just nine llamas there, and I thought that’s unusual for New Hampshire in winter. I just looked out the window now, and there’s 17 llamas between me and the car. So I think, you know, this is some Planet of the Llamas…

  HH: (laughing)

  MS: In the words of Charlton Heston, ‘Take your hands off me you damned, dirty llama.’ This is how it begins.

  We also discussed Dennis Miller’s observation that the Oscar statuette looks like Vladimir Putin, and Lady Gaga’s Academy performance of “The Sound Of Music”:

  MS: Well, I don’t think Lady Gaga is actually a bad singer of those kinds of songs. I rather regret that she got mixed up with Tony Bennett, because he’ll duet with anybody. I mean… he’s done a double CD with my plumber. I didn’t know it. My plumber was working in the room for 15 minutes, and Tony Bennett swung by, and they recorded seven numbers together. Tony Bennett releases three duet albums, in the course of this conversation, he’ll have released another duet album. You’ve probably done a duet album with Tony Bennett yourself, haven’t you? “

 

 

Read it all

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Watch The Latest In Car Theft Protection … Get Yours Today From Suburban Auto Group

 

 

 

Just what everyone needs , a monk in the trunk … HT/ Kevin Jackson at the Blacksphere

Jodi Miller Gives Us A Humorous Take On The Events Of The Day

 

 

 

 

Published on Feb 23, 2015

” — ISIS
– President Obama
– Ashton Carter
– Homeland Security Funding
– Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt
– Climate Change
– Yemen
– Marijuana Use by Teens
– Deja Vu

Love NewsBusted and want to receive alerts about new episodes in your
email? Visit http://newsbusters.org/newsbusted to sign up for free!

Starring: Jodi Miller
Production: Dialog New Media “

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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O Beautiful, For Specious Guys…

 

 

 

 

 

 

” The US media have had a fit of the vapors over Rudy Giuliani’s suggestion that Barack Obama does not love America. As the Instapundit says, their reaction suggests that Giuliani hit a nerve.

  For my own part, I am way beyond that. By the way, I’m growing rather weary of the cheap comparisons of Obama with Neville Chamberlain. The British Prime Minister got the biggest issue of the day wrong. But no one ever doubted that he loved his country. That’s why, after his eviction from Downing Street, Churchill kept him on in his ministry as Lord President of the Council, and indeed made Chamberlain part of the five-man war cabinet and had him chair it during his frequent absences. When he died of cancer in October 1940, Churchill wept over his coffin.

  So please don’t insult Neville Chamberlain by comparing him to Obama. I’m not a conspiracy theorist, because conspiracies are generally a comforting illusion: the real problem with Obama is that the citizens of the global superpower twice elected him to office. Yet one way to look at the current “leader of the free world” is this: If he were working for the other side, what exactly would he be doing differently?

  For example, he has spent most of this week hosting an international conference on something called “violent extremism”. Whatever may be said of Munich, Chamberlain never hosted a three-day summit on “rearmament” in general whose entire purpose was to deny that “rearmament” and “Germany” were in any way connected. Yet that is exactly the message the United States government has just offered to the world – in between such eccentric side spectacles as Marie Harf, star of the hilarious new comedy Geopolitically Blonde, explaining her jobs-for-jihadis program, and the new hombre in charge of the planet’s mightiest military machine having his woman felt up on camera by Joe Biden. Now there’s a message to send to the misogynists of Burqastan about what happens when you let the missuses out of their body bags.”

 

 

Mr Steyn continues …

 

 

” But hey, what’s so odd about that? “Islam has been woven into the fabric of our country since its founding,” says the President. You might think that Islam has been entirely irrelevant to “the fabric of our country” for its first two centuries, and you might further think that Islam, being self-segregating, tends not to weave itself into anybody’s fabric but instead tends to unravel it – as it’s doing in, say, Copenhagen, where 500 mourners turned up for the funeral of an ISIS-supporting Jew-hating anti-free-speech murderer.

  But President Obama knows better than you. So he organized a summit dedicated to creating and promoting a self-invented phantom enemy. Conveniently enough, the main problem with “violent extremists” is that its principal victims are Muslims. No, no, I don’t mean the thousands of Muslims being slaughtered, beheaded, burned alive, raped, sold into sex slavery, etc, etc, in Syria, Iraq, Libya, Nigeria, and so on. The Muslims most at risk are right here in America. Just ask Homeland Security Secretary Jeh Johnson:

  We in the administration and the government should give voice to the plight of Muslims living in this country and the discrimination that they face. And so I personally have committed to speak out about the situation that very often people in the Muslim community in this country face. The fact that there are 1.6 billion Muslims in the world and the Islamic faith is one about peace and brotherhood.”

 

 

Read it all

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

28 Dog Photos You Just Can’t Explain

 

 

 

 

” When this chihuahua went where no man had gone before.”

 

   We’ll never know what that chihuahua was thinking and perhaps we’re better off for it , but there are 27 other photos here that will also leave you scratching your head , smiling and marveling at the wonders of the canine mind . 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sarah Palin And Al Sharpton’s Red Carpet Run-In At ‘SNL’s’ 40th Anniversary Show

 

 

 

Published on Feb 16, 2015

” “Extra’s” AJ Calloway had a run-in with Sarah Palin before “Saturday Night Live’s” 40th Anniversary show, when she crashed our red carpet interview with Rev. Al Sharpton! Watch as the two polarizing political figures mingled and teased each other on the carpet.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

From Victoria Jackson

 

 

 

Published on Feb 3, 2015

” As a follow up to the smash hit, “There’s a Communist Living in the White House,” we have had 7 years to accumulate more information about the mysterious man who was voted into office by the uninformed masses, the deceived and those voters living off of the government who simply want “free stuff”. TV commentators keep asking, “Why is Obama releasing dangerous terrorists?” and “Why won’t he call it what it is?” Maybe because he is one of them. Maybe he is our enemy. Maybe Obama is a Muslim Jihadist. What’s the difference between a Muslim and a Jihadist? If you follow Mohammed, you follow Mohammed.

Follow us:
http://www.VictoriaJackson.com
http://www.facebook.com/victoriajackson
http://twitter.com/vjacksonshow “

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fifty Shades Of Pink

 

 

 

Published on Oct 22, 2014

” If Barbie starred in Fifty Shades of Grey, she would be the one in charge.

Stay tuned for her continued misadventures!

Music and audio:
‘Kooky in Love’ performed by Jennifer Calvo “

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fifty Shades Of Grey – Lego Trailer

 

 

 

 

Published on Feb 2, 2015

” Subscribe to the channel for more! http://goo.gl/fQJO9B

  Lego version of Fifty Shades of Grey Trailer made by Antonio and Andrea Toscano.
Watch the original trailer here: http://youtu.be/SfZWFDs0LxA

  Watch other Lego videos: http://goo.gl/judw6G
Watch the Comparative version with the original trailer: http://goo.gl/Ca3SPr

  Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/iftoscano
Like us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ToscanoBricks “

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Woman Attacked In Her Sleep By Robot Vacuum Cleaner Saved By Paramedics

 

 

 

 

 

” A 52-year-old woman from South Korea was attacked by her robot vacuum cleaner while she slept, but was thankfully and luckily saved when she called paramedics and the fire department who immediately came rushing to assist her. 

  The resident of Changwon City, who has remained so far nameless, was taking a nap on the floor of her home when the state-of-the-art robot vacuum cleaner she had recently purchased began sucking up her hair, apparently thinking it was dust.

  As the suction on the vacuum cleaner was extremely strong, the poor woman needed help as her long hair began to become entangled in the insides of the vacuum cleaner, which was no doubt painful.

  When the woman realized she was unable to free herself from the grips of the powerful vacuum cleaner she called the fire department and begged them to assist her. She was ultimately freed from the robot by paramedics, as reported by the South Korean newspaper, Kyunghyang Shinmun. “

 

Moral of the story: don’t sleep on the floor … LOL

 
Read more at The Inquisitr

The Boston Yeti Is Back! Monster Spotted In New Snowstorm

 

 

 

The above video is from the Boston Yeti’s first appearance last month during Juno

 

 

” The Boston Yeti, who made his debut during last month’s blizzard, was on the run again Monday as New England woke up to a fresh round of snow.

  A new storm threatening to bring up to 1 to 2 feet to some areas churned across the already snow-weary Northeast, making for a slippery, tedious commute. But that didn’t stop the yeti, who was spotted at least once this morning.

  The Boston area could receive up to 2 feet of snow by Tuesday, giving the Yeti plenty of time to terrorize the city once again.

  The Yeti’s movements are being documented on the @BostonYeti2015 Twitter handle, which mysteriously appeared during the first snowstorm as residents across the Northeast battened down the hatches.”

 

Thanks to Mashable

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Social Media Compilations Of ISIS Fails

 

 

 

 

Published on Feb 6, 2015

” Social media compilations of ISIS fails – YouTube
Video for Social media compilations of ISIS fails▶ 1:32
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGzwj…
3 mins ago – Uploaded by TriA@NewS “

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Life Of Brian

 

 

 

” Next to the Iranian nuclear program or Putin’s neo-Soviet expansionism, the question of whether NBC News “managing editor” Brian Williams is a self-aggrandizing liar or a mentally ill fantasist is a relatively minor matter, notwithstanding that he is the very embodiment of the strange antiquated assumptions of network news – that because a chap looks like a 1950s department-store mannequin he’s your go-to guy for economic analysis and foreign policy.

  As to the subject at issue, my general view of “personal stories” (including my own) was summed up by Mel Brooks on stage a few decades back reminiscing about his life. After one especially uproarious anecdote, he said, “I swear every word is true. Well, no. The mildly funny stuff is true. The mezzo-mezzo stuff is mostly true. But the really funny stuff is entirely invented.” That formula applies to the dramatic stuff, too. As you tell a story over the years, as Brian Williams did with his RPG-hit-chopper shtick, it gets too honed, too sharp.

  Then too there is the phenomenon that creeps with age – when anecdotes you once told about other people mutate into anecdotes you tell about yourself. The first example of this I encountered, back when I was very young, was the great Royal Ballet choreographer Sir Frederick Ashton, who regaled me with a string of fascinating personal stories, all of which I discovered, upon returning home, had happened to Diaghilev or Massine or Ninette de Valois.

  But again: I can understand that. You were there. You were part of the scene. You knew the people. You laughed and smoked and danced with them. Why couldn’t it have been you who got off the devastatingly witty retort?

  But I find it harder to believe that a man can “accidentally” claim his helicopter has been hit by an RPG. You have to feel that to know what it’s like. And, if you’ve never felt it, how can you “accidentally” go around describing it to David Letterman on TV and Alec Baldwin on radio for years on end?

  Back in 2003, I was in Iraq just a few weeks after Brian Williams. As I mention in The [Un]documented Mark Steyn, I rented a car at Amman airport, drove through Jordan’s eastern desert, crossed the border and kept going. A little bit of it was scary, a lot of it was funny, relaxing, dull… As the years go by and I tell someone about the goofy guy I met gassing up in Ramadi, I have to stop myself and think, “No, wait. Was it Ramadi? Or Fallujah?” I’m sure, if you combed through a decade’s worth of radio interviews, you could find inconsistencies.”

 

Steyn is always Saturday’s must read 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Drunk Man Beats Up His Wife, Gets K.O By Flying Brick

 

 

 

 

Published on Jan 31, 2015

” According to the conversation they had on video, it all started because the wife found out that his husband was cheating her.
► Subscribe to LiveLeak Channel for more videos: http://bit.ly/subliveleak “

 

HT/Rare

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Man Tries To Kick Dog But Face Plants Instead

 

 

 

 

Published on Feb 2, 2015

” Man tries to kick Dog but face plants instead.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The NASCAR/Nick Offerman Super Bowl Commercial Kicks Tuchus

 

 

 

 

 

” There are two NASCAR Super Bowl XLIX commercials floating around the intertubes, a two-plus-minute spot and a cut-down, :30 version. With airtime costing $9 million per minute ($150,000/second!), it’s probably safe to assume that NASCAR will air the shorter version during the game, but we think you deserve to see the full-boat version too:(see above)

   What We See: Both versions feature Parks and Recreation star Nick Offerman with his giant, manly man moustache, advocating for saving America’s fast-disappearing values by watching NASCAR on the NBC Sports Network (there is no mention of the Fox coverage that starts in February). Visually, it’s pretty much all Offerman all the time, but the background vignettes are packed with uniquely American jingoistic icons: star-spangled thong bathing suits, rodeo bull riding, double-neck electric guitars, victory-lane donuts, giant slabs o’beef on the grill, and, oh yeah, beer. Mixed in with all of this is plenty of track action, including a Big Wreck and a scene where Offerman, wearing a now-banned Dale Sr.–style open-face helmet, edges out Kevin Harvick for the checkered flag. The music is fast paced, the copy is clever, and Offerman nails every line, including rhyming “Busches” with “tuchus” while maintaining a straight face.”

 

 

  See the 30 second spot and read more at Car & Driver:  “When our idea of danger is eating gluten , there’s trouble afoot … ” LMAO …

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FPV Quadcopter – Gun Cam

 

 

 

Take A Lesson From These Two Geniuses

 

 

 

This is not the most efficient way to launch your kayak , that’s for sure …

Mannahu Akbar!

 

 

 

” The other day I quoted this letter from Mindy Alter in The National Post:

  Mark Steyn reminds us of the similarities between jihadists and climate-change alarmists. Both are fanatical. Both hew to ideologies that brook no dissent or criticism. Both go ballistic — albeit in markedly different ways — when some “blasphemer” has the audacity to make withering fun of them and their orthodoxies. Most crucially, however, is the fact that both are control freaks who seek to micro-manage our lives, the climate-change alarmists via onerous environmental regulations, the jihadists via Sharia law.

  To which I responded:

  Oh, c’mon on, it’s not quite that bad: The Allahu Akbar crowd demand death for apostasy. So far the climate mullahs are only advocating prison terms for us apostates.

  I spoke too soon:

  Greenpeace Activist Calls For Climate Change ‘Deniers’ To Be Beheaded “

 

 

This is Saturday’s must-read post

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

… Clean Your Camera Lens!

 

 

 

 

 

” The NSA has issued a Public Announcement today saying that everyone who owns a laptop, cell phone, smart TV, and any other modern social device with video recording, is advised to clean their camera lens regularly.

  An unnamed member of the NSA has released the statement through their Twitter account adding that “It’s really not good for morale when you see a chick in her bedroom through the laptop, and the camera lens blurs the image because of a smudge or something, especially when she’s pretty hot.” The NSA Twitter account later stated that “if you are under a 5 out of 10 on the hotness scale then you can disregard the advisory.”

  This is not the first very open statement the NSA has made in recent months when they released a tweet saying, “You know what? Everyone knows we’re watching, so we might as well save billions on secrecy and be blatant about it. I mean, the cat’s out of the bag and we, as a tax-powered institution, should just admit it.”

  There have also been hundreds of complaints recently from all collective genders about receiving random and untraceable phone texts while at home, asking the recipients things like, “Turn around a few times” and “It’s a little warm for that sweater, don’t you think?”

  When asked about the recent unprofessional attitude they officially state that “it’s 2015, so get with the times, this is the new standard of government professionalism.”

 

Thanks to Chedoh at The People’s Cube

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We’re Gonna Need A Longer Motorcade…

 

 

 

 

 

” The broker America gets, the longer its presidential motorcade gets. If you don’t got it, flaunt it, baby! But President-in-Waiting Hillary Rodham Clinton is already giving out signals that a mere 40-car motorcade may no longer be enough. This week she gave a speech in Saskatoon, which is a town in Saskatchewan, which is a province of Canada. The speech was for the Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce, which is “under investigation from the United States for helping wealthy Americans offshore money in the bank’s Caribbean accounts to avoid paying federal taxes”. I’m on CIBC’s side on that one: By comparison with other western nations, Americans labor under a regime of ever tighter banking constraints that are a disgrace to a supposedly free people.

  So if she wants to cozy up to foreign banksters (as they say in Britain), you go, girl! Nevertheless:

  Secretary of State Hillary Clinton gave a couple paid speeches in Canada yesterday. She was reportedly accompanied by 65 agents of the United States Secret Service to at least one of the events.

  The agents were presumably on hand to help keep the former first lady safe…

  It’s unclear what part, if any, of the security tab was picked up by Clinton — and what part was paid for by U.S. taxpayers. “

 

Read it all 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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