Category: Humor


Galaxy S 5 — Screen Envy

 

Published on Jul 21, 2014

” The Galaxy S 5′s 5.1″ HD display is the screen your friends wish they had — and now they’re lining up to watch over your shoulder. Learn more about The Next Big Thing at http://www.facebook.com/SamsungMobileUSA. “

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About these ads

The Nationalization Of Childhood

 

 

 

 

” ~When I was a kid and watched sci-fi movies set in a futuristic dystopia where individuals are mere chattels of an unseen all-powerful government and enduring human relationships are banned and the progeny of transient sexual encounters are the property of the state, I always found the caper less interesting than the unseen backstory: How did they get there from here? From free western societies to a bunch of glassy-eyed drones wandering around in identikit variety-show catsuits in a land where technology has advanced but liberty has retreated: how’d that happen?

  Well, the current Planet of the Apes prequels have also figured out that’s the most interesting part of the story. (I liked Rise of… immensely, Dawn not so much, but it would be a foolish man who would attempt to compete with Steve Sailer’s brilliant analysis. If American monodailies weren’t determined to die as the most boring papers in the English-speaking world, The New York Times would hire Mr Sailer as their movie critic.)

  But who needs to go to the multiplex when the prequel to all those glassy-eyed serf dystopias is taking place on the news pages? Megan McArdle writes today about the spate of American mommies charged with and, indeed, jailed for leaving their pre-teen children unsupervised. For example, NBC reports from Connecticut:

  Police arrived at 60 Middle Street in Bristol to find the girl alone in the car with the windows rolled up. She was alert and responsive and told officers she had asked to stay in the car while her mom ran inside, according to police.

  Police said the outside temperature was about 85 degrees and the car’s interior “was not excessively hot.”

  The girl’s mother, 30-year-old Christina Williams, was issued a misdemeanor summons for leaving a child unsupervised in a motor vehicle.”

 

Read it all

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Saturday Steyn

The Challenges Of Diversity

 

 

 

 

 

 

” Texas Governor Rick Perry is being criticized for declining to greet President Obama at Austin-Bergstrom Airport tomorrow when Air Force One touches down and the bazillion-car motorcade takes off for some vital Democrat fundraisers. Perry instead would like a substantive meeting to discuss the foreign invasion currently ongoing at Texas’ southern border, but Obama doesn’t do substantive meetings, and in any case, as the principal facilitator of the southern invasion, any discussions between him and Perry probably ought to be conducted under the auspices of the UN at the Hague or in Vienna or some such. Maybe Putin or Assad could mediate.

  Obama made a conscious decision to, in effect, dissolve the southern border, and, quite reasonably enough, the “unaccompanied minors” of Latin America opted to take him at his word. One of his party’s most senior figures, and the woman who if things go well for them in November will be Speaker of the House and second in line of succession to the presidency, explicitly refuses to recognize the international boundary. Down there for a photo-op the other day, Nancy Pelosi declared: “This is a community with a border going through it.” It’s bogus, so why get hung up on tedious legalistic nonsense like “frontiers”? “

 

 

It doesn’t take long for Mr Steyn to get to the heart of the matter , in his own inimitable way , of course …

 

 

” Mr Obama and Ms Pelosi apparently see themselves as leaders of some post-Westphalian entity wherein the political elite use the Third World to reconfigure the citizenry to something more to their taste. But, having voluntarily liquidated US sovereignty at the southern border, in what sense then is Obama President of the United States? Why should the head of a sovereign state that’s renounced its sovereignty still expect to be entitled to all the perks thereof – like fawning governors greeting him at the airport? “

 

 

As usual , you would be remiss if you failed to read it all

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

See The So-Called ‘Honest’ Slogans Poking Fun At Some Of The World’s Biggest Firms

 

 

 

 

The Bic lighter must be the most pocketed item ever created … 

 

 

 

 

 

Who hasn’t experienced the giant bag of scented air posing as a flavored snack ?

 

 

 

 

 

Everybody’s a jock nowadays …

 

 

 

If only we could get this kind of truth in advertising in our politicians , then maybe we could institute some real change .

 

See more at the Daily Mail and follow the source at Honest Slogans

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Watch As Two Would-Be Thieves Receive Some Poetic Justice

 

 

 

 

    While this video is obviously faked , it is very well done and truly hysterical . There can be no doubt that while this incident did not really happen there are many idiot crooks out there that could make it a reality . Have a laugh and thank the creative genius who crafted the video for a humorous start to the workday .

 

Here He Is Folks: The All-Time Darwin Award Winner

 

 

 

   The incident above took place in South Korea and the forty year-old in the video actually plummeted about twenty feet to his death . While we take no joy in the death of a fellow human being , we cannot help but wonder how a person can survive to the age of 40 without knowing that elevator doors remain shut for a reason ?

 

 

The Independence Day Float That’s Making Obama Supporters Irate

 

 

The Independence Day Float That’s Making Obama Supporters Irate

 

 

 

” Freedom of speech is something that is widely celebrated from members of the left. From dressing up like vaginas to prove a point about “women’s rights,” destroying 9/11 memorials, or defecating on the American flag, liberals fully support freedom of speech. That is, until you criticize their lord and savior, Barack Obama.

  Liberals are losing their minds after an Independence Day parade in Norfolk, Nebraska included a float of a “presidential library,” which depicted the Obama’s library as an outhouse.  The main complaint – you guessed it – was that the float was “racist.” “

 

 

 

    Let’s compare and contrast , shall we . The above float along with the rodeo clown who was fired from his job for wearing an Obama mask are the two most “outrageous” and “racist” examples of free speech that have provoked the ire of the tolerant left and unleashed torrents of condemnation from same .

 

 

 

 

 

 

     On the other hand for the eight years that Bush was in office he was subjected to an unceasing barrage of hatred and vitriol by the “tolerant” Left that is unprecedented in modern political history , all held up as shining examples of the power of our Constitutional rights to free expression , and not just from private citizens , but even from the establishment media itself …

 

 

 

 

   Of course everyone can remember the Bush = Hitler meme …

 

 

 

  And then there were the calls for Bush’s outright assassination , in the name of free speech , mind you …

 

 

 

 

 

 

   And what of the accolades heaped on the movie “Death of a President” by the oh so tolerant trendsetters of the progressive movement ?

 

 

 

 

 

 

    Can anyone of us imagine the uproar and cries of racism that would resound should a similar theme be explored with BHO as the target ?

   These are just a few examples of the hypocrisy on display by our “liberal” fellows and don’t even take into consideration the hatred displayed towards others on the right such as Sarah Palin , John McCain , Michelle Bachmann , Ann Coulter and many others .

   However you look at it , a “presidential outhouse” and an Obama rodeo clown are quite tame in comparison to the vile criticisms the proponents of conservatism have been subjected to over the years .

 

Read more

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Wisdom Of Ron Swanson

 

 

Ron Swanson

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Saturday Steyn

Boots On The Ground

 

 

 

 

 

” I mentioned this 2002 column of mine last week in connection with the Saudi Ambassador’s idiosyncratic response to it. But it seems appropriate to give it a full-blown rerun today, Thursday, as the US footie team – or “soccer”, as they call it here – prepares for its samba-sultry rendezvous with destiny and a rematch with Germany, the team that did for them 12 years ago.

  I’d been thinking that this time round there was more interest in the World Cup than back then. But then I went on John Oakley’s show yesterday morning and the soccer banter ahead of my appearance reminded me that even Canada has an entirely different level of engagement with the sport. At any rate, that’s what caught my fancy three World Cups ago, when the American team looked at one point in danger of making it to the semi-finals, and maybe beyond, despite total lack of public interest – while in England and Ireland there were millions of fans in search of a team. This essay is anthologized in The Face Of The Tigerpersonally autographed copies of which are exclusively available from the SteynOnline bookstore, and proceeds of which go towards my pushback against “hockey stick” warm-monger Michael E Mann and the Big Climate enforcers:

  And so the dream dies. The boys gave it their best, they played well, but it wasn’t to be. They’re out of the World Cup, to the bitter disappointment of their supporters.

  I refer, of course, to the United States team, the first in World Cup history with more players than fans. Across America yesterday, all nine of them gathered in bars to watch the big match, only to find that the other patrons preferred to see the Golden Girls re-run dubbed into Spanish on Channel 173 or the last half of Plastering Idol on the Sheetrock Channel. Twiddling my own dial in New Hampshire, I couldn’t find the game on anywhere except a French-language station from Quebec.”

 

Read the rest

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

38 Hilarious Warning Signs That Prove Human Beings Are Literally The Worst

 

 

 

 

 

We’ve all seen the nit-wits wearing hats like these but how many of you have seen this one ?

 

 

 

 

 

 

    Here are three dozen more signs such as these indicating to us that humanity has reached the apex of it’s evolutionary journey and is now backsliding towards a well-deserved purging of the gene pool .

Do we detect a hint of skepticism on the part of our readers ? Think we’ve overstated the danger of our present path towards idiocy ? Have one more sample then , before seeing the rest . You’ll weep for mankind .

 

 

 

Told you so …

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

شبكة عيون الإخبارية

 

 

 

 

Bikini girls mess with each other in the sea .

From The Revolution

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  Courtesy Of SAFM Media In Adelaide , Australia

 

 

 

” Another HILARIOUS flight attendant! This guy takes the cake!”

This Kid Is Hysterical

 

 

 

   WARNING: Extreme Language , but you will laugh your a** off at this kid’s recollection of Mrs Harper’s 3rd grade class trip .

 

 

 

    Enjoy this young man’s tale of a class trip to the cotton fields of Montgomery county , Alabama in August , where he and all 28 0f his fellow black classmates got to pick cotton for free .

Here Kitty Kitty …

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

‘First Moon Party’: Mom Gets Clever Revenge When Daughter Lies About Her First Period In Comical Ad

 

 

 

 

 

 

” While this video, which is actually a commercial by Hello Flo to promote its Period Starter Kit, isn’t for anyone uncomfortable with the word “vagina,” it is a pretty hilarious parody of the drama girls and parents go through during those important pre-teen years.

  Some kids want to grow up way too fast. But when one girl fakes her first period so she can fit in with her friends, her tough (and clever) mom isn’t having it.

  Instead of getting onto her daughter for lying, she punishes her in the most hilarious way – by throwing a “First Moon Party” to celebrate her arrival into womanhood. There’s a uterus pinata, pin the pad on the period, a red fondue fountain – everything that could possibly embarrass a preteen girl, all in one convenient location.”

 

 

Independent Journal Review

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Man Wearing A Suit Of Mentos Falls Into A Tub Of Diet Coke

 

 

 

” By now, you’ve probably seen endless iterations of the reaction between Mentos and Diet Coke, but here’s one we never expected. This fellow donned a suit of Mentos and sat over a dunk tank of soda. Eruptions ensued.

  The folks behind Epic Meal Empire pulled this stunt for their new show, which premieres on July 26th on the new FYI channel. The real question, though, is what does it feel like to have all those Mentos foaming against your body?”

 

IO9

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Kronies: Laughing All The Way To The Export-Import Bank

 

 

 

 

Published on Jun 16, 2014

” Get Konnected at http://thekronies.com/

  In this very special episode of “The Less You Know”, Johnny and Bobby learn a valuable lesson about campaign finance. 

  With a crucial re-authorization vote looming, the Representatives must decide whether or not to support the U.S. Export-Import Bank. Johnny and Bobby nearly make a terrible mistake, one that could endanger their political careers! 

  Luckily, Bankor and Ariel Stryker appear just in time to set the Reps straight…straight on the path to re-election. Including a special appearance by “the Big man” himself, this episode is sure to capture hearts, minds, and votes.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mind If I Play Through?

 

 

 

 

 

 That old duffer Obama , he’ll do anything to stay out of the sandbox , er , trap …

 

 

Fore !

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ลุกฮือ’ปิดถนน!มวลมหาประชาเป็ด ฮือฮา!เป็ดนับเเสนตัวรวมตัวกันปิดถนน

 

 

 

Terrorist Kills His Partner With The Backblast From An RPG

 

 

 

 

Another terr gets a head start on his search for the “virgins” , thanks to his pal with the RPG . More poetic justice .

Last Week Tonight With John Oliver: FIFA And The World Cup

 

 

 

 

Published on Jun 8, 2014

” John Oliver’s excitement for the World Cup is tempered by knowing information about FIFA, the organization that produces it. John details the problems with the upcoming tournament and the staggering allegations of corruption against FIFA.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Killer Clown Returns Scare Prank!

 

 

     Regular readers may remember the original Killer Clown prank brought to you by DMPranksProductions that we posted last month . If not you can see it here . Diego and Matteo are at it again and the video above is their encore performance .

Killer Clown

Published on Jun 15, 2014

The psycho killer clown is back!
Click Here To Subscribe! http://www.youtube.com/subscription_c…
Open this link from your iPhone to buy the Killer Clown Laugh ringtone: http://bit.ly/1n8qLvZ
*** Chainsaw was without blades/chain! ***

PART 1: http://youtu.be/8xSNiPx791A

Get this video done took about 3 weeks (90+ hours of work in total)

-Get the right victims has been the hardest part, we spent an insane amount of time talking with radios, choosing and waiting for good victims (young males) 

-Someone’s face is blurred out because he didn’t sign our release form

Have a video Suggestion? Post it in the Comments Section, Contact us through our Facebook page or Tweet us!

Connect with us!
Facebook ► https://www.facebook.com/DmPranks
Twitter ► https://twitter.com/dmpranks
Instagram ► http://instagram.com/dmpranksproductions

CLOWN PART 1: http://youtu.be/8xSNiPx791A
FLAMETHROWER: http://youtu.be/3FztNNH9_vI
ZOMBIE MURDER: http://youtu.be/MkOGb5_ML_8

MUSIC: 

“House of horror”
http://audiojungle.net/item/house-of-…

Sound effects:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXOs3… “

From Jose Ahonen & Rudi Rok

 

 

 

 

Published on Jun 16, 2014

” Magician Jose Ahonen & Comedian and voice actor Rudi Rok ( http://www.youtube.com/rudirok )collaborated to find out! 
Jose Ahonen 
Twitter: @joseahonen 
http://www.taikuutta.com 
FB: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Taikur…

Rudi Rok 
Twitter: @rudirok
http://www.rudirok.com
FB: https://www.facebook.com/rudirok?fref=ts

Please tip if you liked! Bitcoin:
17k15q6rHd31fwPHXtNdByBLio8kXpqy9S “

You Can Now Send The Middle Finger To All Your Friends

 

 

But we all know this is the only one we are really waiting for...

 

 

 

 

” The emojis are a part of the Unicode 7.0 software update from Apple, Google, and Microsoft.

  Not many photos have been released of the new icons, but they’ll be added to the Emojipedia “as soon as they are available.”

  Some of the new emojis are computer-themed, such as floppy disks, printers, and keyboards. We’ll also be able to go to war with our friends via text, as Emoji is releasing military airplanes, boats, and rockets.”

 

Go to Buzzfeed to see the entire collection

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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