Tag Archive: Humor


 

Boy Starts Poking A Girl With A Pencil In Sunday School . What She Did Next Shocked Everyone , Including The Teacher

 

 

 

” Little April was never best student in Sunday school. She was always falling asleep in class and getting into trouble.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, April, who created the universe?” When April didn’t stir, little Johnny, who sat in the chair behind her, took a pencil and poked her in the rear.

“GOD ALMIGHTY!” shouted April and the teacher said, “Very good” and April fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked April, “Who is our savior?,” but again April didn’t stir from her slumber.

Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and poked her with his pencil again.

“JESUS CHRIST!” shouted April.

“very well done” said the teacher.

Then after she fell asleep again the teacher asked April a third question: “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?” And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pencil.

This time April jumped up and shouted, “I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU STICK THAT THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME I’LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR A**” the teacher fainted. “

 

From JustMadeMeLaugh

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About these ads

Calico Crisis Presents All You Need To Know About Women , Men And Dating And Marriage

 

 

 

   Get a life lesson from this man who has used his 46 years on this earth to develop this ultimate “wife hack” … LOL … and be sure to stay with it to the very end ladies as the instructor parses the men for you as well .

42 Of The Most Hilarious Gravestones Of All Time

You’ll Die Laughing

 

Uncle Walter led his life the way he pleased …

 

 

 

 

 

And this man sure knew what he liked … women and horses …

 

Who said cemeteries are no fun … check out the other humorous parting words here .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Megyn Kelly On Jimmy Kimmel 12.17.14

 

 

 

Freshpet Holiday Feast – 13 Dogs And 1 Cat Eating Christmas Dinner

 

 

 

    We all love our dogs , some more than others , and this video shows that love taken to a Christmas extreme … bon appetit

Published on Dec 15, 2014

” http://freshpet.com
  Everyone! We would LOVE to see your pets and will be giving out some special prizes! If your pet has what it takes, feel free to post a photo or video of them eating with hands and use the hashtag #FreshpetFeast

  Watch the Behind the Scenes video here to see how we did it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guBWY…

  We are on a mission – to bring the power of fresh, real food to dogs and cats. And we’re committed to doing so in ways that are good for our pets, for people and for the planet.

  At Freshpet, our dogs and cats aren’t just our pets. They’re part of the family. And as our families choose to eat fresh, less-processed foods, we thought it made sense that our pets should too. That’s why we made Freshpet. Freshpet isn’t found on the shelf like every other pet food. You’ll only find it in the Freshpet fridge. Just fresh meats and fresh veggies, and no preservatives.

Connect with us!
https://www.facebook.com/Freshpet
https://twitter.com/Freshpet
https://www.youtube.com/user/freshpet400

  Special thanks to the Humane Society of Utah for their participation in this video. Many of the dogs in the video are available for adoption!

Video created by: http://shareability.com/ “

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jodi Miller Brings Us The Lighter Side Of The News

 

 

 

 

 

 

Published on Dec 15, 2014

” TOPICS:
– House Speaker John Boehner
– Jonathan Gruber
– Al Sharpton
– Prince William
– Senior al-Qaeda Killed
– Hillary Clinton
– President Obama’s Export Council
– Gitmo Prisoners Tortured?

Love NewsBusted and want to receive alerts about new episodes in your
email? Visit http://newsbusters.org/newsbusted to sign up for free!

Starring: Jodi Miller
Production: Dialog New Media “

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Arkansas Badonkadonk

 

 

    Earlier this month we highlighted a video that was produced by the Stand With Hillary Super PAC to support the “inevitable” campaign , it is her turn after all , of Ms Hillary Clinton for president . There was much to do on both sides of the aisle about the video , most of which commented on the fact that said video was unintended parody . This current video , by the esteemed Remy is real , intentional parody . Brought to you , as always , by ReasonTV we hope you enjoy it as much as we did .

   Below are the lyrics so you can follow along …

” LYRICS:
Just like the last time around
Republicans are gonna frown
Mitt Romney and Ben Carson now?
Like Twitter stock you’re going down

You’d that you were riding in
Billy Joel’s car I swear
because you’re gonna see
shattered glass everywhere

I’m talking Arkansas Badonkadonk..
Perfect voting record make you wanna vote along
Gonna bring along ol’ Bill Clinton
and ooh-wee, shut my mouth, slap your grandma

You think she’s gonna lose
in the early primaries?
You’d sooner see Al Sharpton
promptly filing quarterlies

Somehow I’m a crusader
Can label you a hater
While I say “nominate
anybody with a baby-maker” “

 

 

ReasonTV

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dutch Marriage Proposal Sees Crane Smash IJsselstein House

 

 

Published on Dec 13, 2014

” A Dutchman’s plan to propose to his girlfriend has ended with a mobile crane smashing the roof of a house and forcing the evacuation of two others.

  The man had wanted to surprise his partner by descending in front of her bedroom in the town of IJsselstein to sing her a song and pop the question.

  But the unsecured crane he used instead toppled into a neighbour’s house.

  The woman still said yes, Dutch media report, and the couple are now said to be celebrating in Paris.

  Following the initial impact, more damage was done when the crane fell again during an attempt to right it.

  Residents in nearby properties were evacuated but no one was injured. “

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Fish Get Revenge! The Sequel — 10 More Videos

 

 

 

 

” It would be bad enough to lose a Shimano Terez rod and a Stella 10000 plus a GoPro Hero3 on, say, a bluefin tuna, but check out what gets away with the goods here. “

 

See the other videos at Sport Fishing Magazine

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You Can Now Make GIFs Directly From YouTube

 

 

 

 

” If you love making GIFs (and really, who doesn’t?) today is a happy day for you. YouTube has finally heeded the call of millions of users and quietly added a GIF-creator tool to some of its videos (for example, anything uploaded by the PBS Idea Channel). The share button (which previously only had share, embed, and email as options) now includes an extra feature: GIF. 

  It’s a pretty bare-bones affair: tap share, set your start and end points, add any captions if you’d like, and click “create” — YouTube will host the GIF itself. The clip can only be a maximum of 5 seconds long, which makes it somewhat of a crude tool for GIF-makers, but it will help keep file size small. The ease with which one churn out GIFs and add meme-like bottom and top text will certainly be enough for the casual user and perhaps spur on a Mememageddon the likes of which we haven’t seen since 2011. The future is now. “

 

 

 

 

Thanks to Popular Mechanics 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There Is A Reason The Slide Is Closed

 

 

 

Dog Rescues Sister From Toy Snake Attack! Cute Dogs Maymo & Penny

 

 

 

Published on Dec 2, 2014

” Dog Saves Sister from Toy Snake Attack! Cute Dogs Maymo & Penny
To use this video in a commercial player, advertising or in broadcasts, email Viral Spiral (contact@viralspiralgroup.com)

  Maymo protects his sister Penny from a toy snake invasion. Watch cute dog Penny run from an advancing motorized snake, before her brother Maymo runs in and saves the day. Maymo uses his signature ninja agility moves to take down the snake, rescuing his sister from impending doom. Penny tries to resuscitate the ailing snake but is unsuccessful.

Subscribe! http://bit.ly/VzYUvE
Maymo’s Instagram: http://goo.gl/1MrHRh
Maymo’s Facebook: http://on.fb.me/UPC8d7
Maymo’s Twitter: http://bit.ly/Wk4dxX “

 

HT/Rare

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Watch Obama Hijack A Segment On Colbert Report While The Teleprompter Mocks Him

 

 

 

” The President took time out of his schedule to drop by the Colbert Report and take a satirical stab at the show’s segment ‘The Word.’ Instead of ‘the Word,’ President Obama used ‘the Decree,’ and proceeded to explain why the unpopular Obamacare law is really awesome, after all. The friendly audience was supportive; the American people, not so much. “

Kyle Becker at IJR has more

Politics Nation Cold Open

 

SNL Cold Open 12.6.14

 

 

 

” Reverend Al Sharpton (Kenan Thompson) discusses the verdict of the Eric Garner case with Peter Dinello (Bobby Moynihan), a member of the Patrolmen’s Benevolent Association. “
    As a bonus we’ve thrown in the SNL cast’s “Star Wars Teaser” video to whet the whistle of all you fans out there eagerly awaiting the release of part seven of the space saga . Even if the series isn’t showing signs of age , the characters are . Enjoy .
SNL Star Wars Teaser
” In a galaxy far, far away, Han Solo (Taran Killam), Princess Leia (Bobby Moynihan) and Luke Skywalker (James Franco) face a new foe: old age.”

American Inertia

 

 

” I’ve borrowed Kathy Shaidle’s headline because I think that sums up John Derbyshire’s column better than the one he and his editors chose: “The Impotent Eagle.” It’s not that we are incapable of doing anything, it’s that we can’t rouse ourselves to do anything.

  John was my colleague at National Review for many years, where I regarded him as a gloomier version of me, and he regarded me as a hopeless Pollyanna. Nevertheless, much of what he writes today will be familiar to readers of both After America and The [Un]documented Mark Steyn, personally autographed copies of which make kind and thoughtful Christmas presents and really aren’t as suicidally depressing as you might think. Derb’s mournful refrain was taken from a throwaway line a correspondent made re immigration:

Replied my friend:

‘I think that withdrawing birthright citizenship from the children of illegals would be a good move, and highly appropriate. I don’t see why we couldn’t do it going forward. But of course we won’t, because we can’t do anything.’

It was that closing phrase that stuck in my mind. We can’t do anything. It’s so damn true.

   John focuses on the big headlines: the Afghan war… immigration… law enforcement in Ferguson… America can’t win wars, enforce its borders, prevent looting. He could have added a bazillion others: build a flood barrier that prevents one measly not-so-Superstorm Sandy ruining people’s lives for years after… replace the dingy decrepit dump of LaGuardia with an airport that isn’t a total embarrassment to one of the world’s great cities… upgrade the most primitive bank cards in the developed world… stiffen Republican spines to come up with plans for debt reduction that kick in before the middle of the century…

  But I’m increasingly struck by how “we can’t do anything” applies to all the small stuff, too. If you’ve ever spent hours on the phone going round in circles with your health insurer over some nothing little thing, you’ll be aware that “we can’t do anything” is not a monopoly of the big geopolitical strategists. The whole joint seems to be seizing up, and it bothers me. Americans now have less health-care freedom and less banking freedom than many Continental Europeans. But let’s not get all comparative about this. In absolute terms – and certainly in comparison with the America that was – too much of daily life has become over-complicated and over-regulated and over-sclerotic, and too many people are content to string along with it. “

 

Mr Steyn’s piece is , of course , the mandatory read of the day 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jodi Miller And NewsBusters Present The News

 

 

 

Published on Dec 1, 2014

” TOPICS:
– Black Friday Shoppers
– U.N. Peacekeepers
– Chuck Hagel Resigns
– Ferguson, MO
– President Obama
– Ray Rice
– Obamacare
– Colorado Marijuana
– Fastest Texter

  Love NewsBusted and want to receive alerts about new episodes in your
email? Visit http://newsbusters.org/newsbusted to sign up for free!

Starring: Jodi Miller
Production: Dialog New Media “

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How To Remove Your Mustache

 

Published on Dec 1, 2014

” The Movember is over and it’s time to shave, or remove the mustache any way possible!
You can read my articles here: http://www.electroboom.com
Follow me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ElectroBOOM
Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/ElectroBOOMGuy “

 

HT/UniLad

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Paws In The City

 

 

“I don’t always make a mess …

 

 

 

 

… But when I do , I sit like a boss while you clean it up.”

 

 

 

Ah , the dog’s life

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Saturday Steyn

Fruits Of The Poisonous Tree

 

 

 

 

 

 

” I spent Black Friday behind the Golden EIB Microphone sitting in for Rush on America’s Number One radio show. It was a fun ride today and we discussed many things – from immigration to ISIS to impeachment – but we also talked about a man from the Colorado town of Fruitvale (seriously), who’s been charged with a felony for threatening two police officers with a banana:

Anyway, the big takeaway from this is it’s now illegal to point a banana at law enforcement. As Harry Belafonte sang:

Come, Mister Copper Man
Take down me banana
Sheriff come
And me wan’ go home.

A few more moments from the show can be found here.

~There may have been a bit more music from me on the show than anyone was in the mood for. But, if you’re interested, my version of Ted Nugent’s “Cat Scratch Fever” and “The Way You Look Tonight” in French are from my new CD Goldfinger, and the disco version of “A Marshmallow World” is on Jessica’s and my Christmas album Making Spirits Bright.

~If you’re wondering about that Mark Twain event I mentioned on the show today, it’s on Monday December 8th in Hartford, Connecticut just across the street from the Mark Twain House. Your local Rush station WTIC is one of the co-presenters of the event, and NPR’s Scott Simon will be quizzing me. You can find full details and reserve tickets here. “

 

Read it all

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Fish Get Revenge!

 

 

” Sometimes the fish have the last laugh.”

 

 

” 3 — They don’t call bluefish “snappers” for no reason. In South Africa, where this video was taken, they call ‘em shad. Check out a bluefish determined to make this angler sing contralto. (You’ll have to turn your head 90 degrees to watch this one.) “

View the other nine videos of fish striking back at Sport Fishing Magazine

Capitol Hill Cold Open – Saturday Night Live

 

 

 

Published on Nov 23, 2014

” A bill (Kenan Thompson) and an executive order (Bobby Moynihan) explain how government really works with a little help from President Obama (Jay Pharaoh). “

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Touch Of Humor From Jodi Miller

 

 

 

Published on Nov 20, 2014

” TOPICS:
– Debbie Wasserman-Schultz
– China’s one-child limit
– IRS fraudulent refunds
– USDA
– Gitmo detainees
– Fox series “Utopia” canceled
– Joe’s Crab Shack
– Bruce Jenner

  Love NewsBusted and want to receive alerts about new episodes in your
email? Visit http://newsbusters.org/newsbusted to sign up for free!

Starring: Jodi Miller
Production: Dialog New Media “

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Novel Tree Swing From Unilad

 

 

 

Start your weekend with a smile … 

Jon Stewart Calls Out Not-Emperor Obama’s Powerlust By Pointing Out Something He’s Overlooked

 

 

 

” Remember when President Obama, when asked about what he would do to “ensure more people aren’t being deported,” deferred by saying:

My job is to execute laws that are passed.

And… 

I’m the President of the United States. I’m not the emperor of the United States.

Jon Stewart remembers. And he’s noticed how the President’s latest words on the extent of his presidential powers don’t exactly square with his previous declaration that he is not “the emperor.”

I’m going to do what I can do through executive action.

It’s good to be the king. “

 

Thanks to IJR

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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