” Long Island is easily one of the most misunderstood of all islands, especially the longer ones. And whether or not they’ve actually been there, every New Yorker has feelings about it. Strong feelings. The rumors are abundant — everyone is on steroids, Bob Costas was born fully formed in a lab in Commack — and sometimes even true.
But the time has come for everyone to know the real deal. Laid out below are 25 things that will bring the soon-to-be-former home of the greatest NHL franchise of the early 1980s into significantly clearer focus.
1. You can buy beer anywhere that sells anything
Except, quite oddly, at liquor stores.
2. We didn’t all play lacrosse growing up
But we do all own lacrosse shorts.
3. Fire Island isn’t just full of naked people
It is full of Rocket Fuel, though.
4. Suffolk County and Nassau County are two very, very different places
And everyone knows Suffolk is so much better. RIGHT?!? #countyfight
5. Our pizza (especially slice joints) and bagels are consistently better and more plentiful than those in the city
Don’t even get us started on the pizza bagels!!!
6. And one fine example named Little Vincent’s puts cold cheese on top of the not-cold cheese
It’s very insane, and very perfect. Also there’re about three fights a night in that place.
7. We all love Billy Joel completely un-ironically
Even though he’s crashed his car into the front of most of our houses.
8. Half of the island had to go into therapy after having their area code changed from 516 to 631 in 1999
Many still consider 631 a grave mark of shame.
9. North Shore beaches basically suck; South Shore beaches are like real beaches, with sand and waves
And also guys walking up and down with a cooler, shouting, “Fudgie Wudgie bars!!!”.
10. All of those beaches are fantastic for drinking on, even though you’re not supposed to
Especially at night.”
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