” Following a second mass shooting at Fort Hood, at least one lawmaker thinks a bill currently under consideration will ensure the safety of American communities by requiring the estimated 2.6 million unstable veterans who served in Iraq or Afghanistan to tell their neighbors of their combat service.
The Fortify & Unite Communities to Keep Veterans’ External Threats Secure Act (H.R. 1874) which was introduced on Tuesday, would require military veterans to register with the Department of Homeland Security and periodically “check-in” with a case officer, in addition to going door-to-door in their neighborhood to notify people nearby that they are a powder keg of post traumatic stress, alcoholism, murder, and hate just waiting to blow.
“ We really feel that we can drastically minimize the damage to some communities, especially those in troubled ‘PTSD hotspots‘ that have become a haven for these psychopathic troops,” said Rep. Jim Moran (D-Va.), who sponsored the legislation. “We are so thankful for their service, and now they can continue to serve on veterans probation.” “
Read more here
” Putting the nation on alert against what it has described as a “highly credible terrorist threat,” the FBI announced today that it has uncovered a plot by members of al-Qaeda to sit back and enjoy themselves while the United States collapses of its own accord.
Multiple intelligence agencies confirmed that the militant Islamist organization and its numerous affiliates intend to carry out a massive, coordinated plan to stand aside and watch America’s increasingly rapid decline, with terrorist operatives across the globe reportedly mobilizing to take it easy, relax, and savor the spectacle as it unfolds.
“ We have intercepted electronic communication indicating that al-Qaeda members are actively plotting to stay out of the way while America as we know it gradually crumbles under the weight of its own self-inflicted debt and disrepair,” FBI Deputy Director Mark F. Giuliano told the assembled press corps. “If this plan succeeds, it will leave behind a nation with a completely dysfunctional economy, collapsing infrastructure, and a catastrophic health crisis afflicting millions across the nation. We want to emphasize that this danger is very real.”
“ And unfortunately, based on information we have from intelligence assets on the ground, this plot is already well under way,” he added.”
The Onion has all the details on this nefarious plot
Published on Mar 7, 2014
” Who do you want answering the phone in the White House when a crisis arises at 3 AM?”
” Thanks to the miracles of modern technology, Dinesh D’Souza got to ask Obama a few questions this week a la Zach Galifianakis. Much like Zach’s interview with the President, things got heated when D’Souza pressed Obama on his failed healthcare system, his criticisms of D’Souza’s 2016 film, and other hot button issues.”
” We are the most hated “show” on the Internet.
We finally decided to join Live Leak because it’s cool, I guess.
———– CAST ———–
Oscar – Alexander Mostovyk
Ukrainian Rioter 1 – Kieran Fallon
Ukrainian Rioter 2 – Will Rivera
Ukrainian Rioter 3 – Jarrett Courtney
M. Night Shyamalan – Efraiem Hanna
Read more at http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=ec9_1393784263#TGCC2LvXoG6Q30wv.99“
” Testifying against legislation that would decriminalize marijuana in Maryland, the Annapolis police chief cited a satirical article that claimed 37 pot deaths occurred on the first day Colorado legalized its sale.
“ The first day of legalization, that’s when Colorado experienced 37 deaths that day from overdose on marijuana,” Chief Michael Pristoop said on Tuesday as part of testimony during a Maryland Senate Judicial Proceedings Committee hearing. “I remember the first day it was decriminalized there were 37 deaths.”
Pristoop was quickly corrected by a sponsor of one of the bills, according to the Capital Gazette.
“ Unless you have some other source for this, I’m afraid I’ve got to spoil the party here,” said Sen. Jamie Raskin. “Your assertion that 37 people died of a marijuana overdose in Colorado was a hoax on the Daily Currant and the Comedy Central website.”
The Daily Currant posted the article – “Marijuana Overdoses Kill 37 in Colorado on First Day of Legalization” – on Jan. 2. It has since been shared over 24,000 times across various social media and other web platforms.”
Good Lord , we are led by idiots … this man and thousands like him are the ones we should trust to protect us ? A man of tremendous authority over the citizenry that cannot even distinguish fact from fiction ? God help us .
Read the rest … and groan
” This link backs up the statistics presented in this video.
Terrorism is indeed a horrible thing, and we as a country have a lot of work to do to address the root causes of it. But we believe that sometimes, it takes humor to put things in perspective. How many of our civil liberties are we willing to give up in the name of security?”
Thanks to the Western Center For Journalism
While we have posted this before we thought that , with the debt ceiling having been reached again last Friday night just a few short months after the last cavalcade of Congressional hypocrisy , it would be a good time to reacquaint our readers with the insanity that governs Congress and it’s spending habits .
Uploaded on Nov 4, 2011
” The United States debt limit explained. A satirical short film taking a look at the national debt and how it applies to just one family. The watch our follow up video: Knock Knock IRS
Watch the guy from the Sprint Ads, Ferris Bueller Superbowl Spot and plays Arwin! (also in the upcoming film PAIN AND GAIN) Produced by Seth William Meier, DP/Edited by Craig Evans, 1st AC Brian Andrews, Sound Mixer Gus Salazar, Written and Directed by Brian Stepanek. Help us spread the word by clicking ads or at http://www.debtlimitusa.org.
as seen on STOSSEL on Fox Business “
” The man responsible for operating the Olympic Rings during last night’s Winter Olympics opening ceremony in Russia was found dead today.
According to local reports the body of Boris Avdeyev was found his hotel room early this morning with multiple stab wounds.
Avdeyev was a technical specialist responsible for the Olympic Ring spectacle, which embarrassingly malfunctioned last night. Five animatronic snowflakes were supposed to transform into Olympic Rings. The first four functioned properly but the fifth snowflake failed to change shape.
Although his body was badly mangled and the wounds were consistent with a struggle, so far officials say they don’t suspect foul play.
“ Sure there were stab wounds and bruises all over the body,” admits the lead investigator on the case. “But who knows what caused them. Maybe he tripped and fell on a set of knives. Right now we’re ruling this an accidental death.”
The rest of the details may be found here … LOL
Published on Jan 22, 2014
” Get Konnected at http://www.thekronies.com
The Kronies are in action…Mandating, Tarrify-ing, Inflating, and Boondoggling their way to profits powered by their special konnection to the G-Force. Watch Big-G and his team stomp out competition! “
Published on Jan 22, 2014
” Get Konnected at http://www.thekronies.com
Big G is the leader of The Kronies. He towers over the other Kronies—heck, he towers over everybody. His bulging muscles are only a fraction of his power. His half-blue, half-red suit symbolizes the two-party system. He has a mirror for a face (because Big G is “us”). How can so much power be concentrated in one hero? Ask the Kronies. Together, they make an unstoppable team.
Big G’s origins are something of a mystery. He is thought to have emerged long, long ago — at a point when human beings started thinking of clan kings as having godlike powers. Some say this powerful entity manifests itself in many different civilizations, at many different places and times. Today he has found his greatest expression here in America — as Big G.
Some think Big G is all powerful. But like all heroes, Big G has a weakness. When the people falter in their belief in the Greater Good, his power starts to wane. Thus, he sometimes has to demonstrate his terrific might, to bring about order, and to align the people towards the Greater Good. A few times in the past, he’s lost grip on the G-force. When that happens he goes underground only to reemerge later — bigger, stronger and more powerful than before.
Find out more at http://www.thekronies.com or reach us by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org”
” Phillip Morris, the world’s biggest cigarette producer, announced today that they will join the marijuana legalization bandwagon and start producing marijuana cigarettes. Marketed under the brand “Marlboro M”, the cigarettes will be made available for sale through marijuana-licensed outlets in the state of Colorado, and the state of Washington when it becomes commercially legal there later this year.
Norcik added that they have begun contacting former drug lords in Mexico and Paraguay, currently the largest marijuana-producing countries in the world, for the possibility of setting up a distribution ring across the North and South American continents, to streamline the supply lines.”
” Dear Fellow Americans,
Among the many fears people are expressing about the Affordable Care Act is the supposed extra hours it will force people to spend if they have the misfortune of having to go to hospital emergency rooms.
Critics claim that those enrolled in “Obamacare” (a term I personally dislike but have to use, or else the commoners out there won’t know what I’m speaking about) will be forced to sit even longer in hospital emergency care rooms due to doctors being forced out of the profession, thereby leaving emergency rooms understaffed, and so forcing people to overwhelm them with minor ailments, compounding insurance companies with tons of more red tape that will cause them to reject patients to regular doctors’ and specialists’ offices much more than ever. And don’t forget the people now forced or choosing to join Medicaid that should never be on it, which will clog up emergency rooms, as the E.R.s will become as common to them as visiting their pharmacies for a simple cold.
Think about it, America: you’re wallowing in your local emergency room, vomiting your guts out from that tainted sushi you ate the night before, and next to you is some person crying over their left ankle that somehow got broken and now has their left foot facing backwards instead of frontwards –wouldn’t that be the perfect time to be like, “Hi, there, sir or ma’am! What’s your name? Want to be friends?” “
Published on Dec 18, 2013
” For links, more resources, and downloadable versions, go tohttp://reason.com/reasontv/2013/12/18…
As Anchorman 2, the long-awaited sequel to 2004’s Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, hits theaters, it’s worth pointing out Will Ferrell’s fake newscaster is not just wildly entertaining but hugely instructive in our media-soaked age.
Here are three reasons why Anchorman 2 is already the most important movie of the year.
1. It Foregrounds Media Cliches and Pat Formulas.
When Ron Burgundy and team create ridiculous, over-the-top news features such as “Rip the Lid Off It!,” it’s impossible to ever take a special report or interruption for breaking news uncritically ever again.
2. It (de)humanizes the Production of “News.”
By calling attention to the actual production process of “news” and the often-considerable limitations of the people who make media, the Anchorman franchise underscores that news is invented, not discovered.
3. It Eviscerates the Media’a Hero Complex
Far more than critically acclaimed critiques such as Network, Anchorman brilliantly lampoons the self-importance and deranged egos of media stars.
For these reasons and more — and especially at a time when even venerable media outlets such as 60 Minutes is effectively firing correspondents for inaccurate reports and blatantly sucking up to power — Anchorman 2 and its prequel should be required viewing for everyone who takes media literacy seriously.
About 2 minutes. Produced by Todd Krainin. Written and hosted by Nick Gillespie.”
Click pic to play video
” Late night comedy show “Saturday Night Live” used a skit this week to poke fun at Al Sharpton’s MSNBC show.
The skit featured an “unpaid contributor to The Huffington Post” as a guest on the “Politics Nation” show to discuss President Barack Obama’s signature health care law.”