” The NSA has issued a Public Announcement today saying that everyone who owns a laptop, cell phone, smart TV, and any other modern social device with video recording, is advised to clean their camera lens regularly.
An unnamed member of the NSA has released the statement through their Twitter account adding that “It’s really not good for morale when you see a chick in her bedroom through the laptop, and the camera lens blurs the image because of a smudge or something, especially when she’s pretty hot.” The NSA Twitter account later stated that “if you are under a 5 out of 10 on the hotness scale then you can disregard the advisory.”
This is not the first very open statement the NSA has made in recent months when they released a tweet saying, “You know what? Everyone knows we’re watching, so we might as well save billions on secrecy and be blatant about it. I mean, the cat’s out of the bag and we, as a tax-powered institution, should just admit it.”
There have also been hundreds of complaints recently from all collective genders about receiving random and untraceable phone texts while at home, asking the recipients things like, “Turn around a few times” and “It’s a little warm for that sweater, don’t you think?”
When asked about the recent unprofessional attitude they officially state that “it’s 2015, so get with the times, this is the new standard of government professionalism.”