WE NEED TO REGULATE CARS THE WAY WE REGULATE GUNS

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” I keep hearing people say they want to regulate guns the way we regulate cars. They don’t really mean that, of course. What they mean is they want to make it
acceptable to find more ways to intrude on the right to keep and bear arms.

I propose instead, we regulate cars the way we regulate guns.

Let’s start:
To buy or operate a standard car, one will have to be 18 years old. Under that age, adult supervision will be mandatory. This means the adult must be in the vehicle with the underage driver. To buy a sports car, you will have to be
21.

A “Sports car” will be defined as any
combination of any two of the following: 2 doors instead of 4, spoked rims not requiring hubcaps, aerodynamic effects such as spoilers or air dams, a wheelbase under 100 inches, a manual
transmission, a curb weight under 3000 lbs, fiberglass or other non-metal construction, or painted logos. For every purchase, you will have to fill out a questionnaire confirming you’re a US citizen, do not use drugs or abuse alcohol, have never had a conviction for
alcohol related incidents or reckless
driving. Lying on this form will be
punishable by 10 years in prison and/or a $10,000 fine.

New cars will only be purchased from Federal Automobile Licensees who must provide fingerprints, proof of character, secure storage for all vehicles, and who must call the Federal Bureau of Motor
Vehicles to verify your information
before purchase. They may approve or decline or delay the sale. If they decline, you may appeal the decision in writing to
a review board. If they delay, it becomes an approval automatically after 10 days. However, the dealer may decline to complete such a sale in case of later problems. “