Tag Archive: The People’s Cube


… Clean Your Camera Lens!

 

 

 

 

 

” The NSA has issued a Public Announcement today saying that everyone who owns a laptop, cell phone, smart TV, and any other modern social device with video recording, is advised to clean their camera lens regularly.

  An unnamed member of the NSA has released the statement through their Twitter account adding that “It’s really not good for morale when you see a chick in her bedroom through the laptop, and the camera lens blurs the image because of a smudge or something, especially when she’s pretty hot.” The NSA Twitter account later stated that “if you are under a 5 out of 10 on the hotness scale then you can disregard the advisory.”

  This is not the first very open statement the NSA has made in recent months when they released a tweet saying, “You know what? Everyone knows we’re watching, so we might as well save billions on secrecy and be blatant about it. I mean, the cat’s out of the bag and we, as a tax-powered institution, should just admit it.”

  There have also been hundreds of complaints recently from all collective genders about receiving random and untraceable phone texts while at home, asking the recipients things like, “Turn around a few times” and “It’s a little warm for that sweater, don’t you think?”

  When asked about the recent unprofessional attitude they officially state that “it’s 2015, so get with the times, this is the new standard of government professionalism.”

 

Thanks to Chedoh at The People’s Cube

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bloomberg Denounces ‘Food Freedom’ as Bourgeois Oppression

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” Dear Comrades,The Chief Commissar of Manhattangrad, Comrade Mikhail Bloomberg, has denounced the reactionary People’s Court judge who recently overruled the Comrade’s directive limiting the Peoples’ Rations of sodas and other foods deemed ‘unhealthy’ by the Party.”I do think there are certain times we should infringe on your freedom,” Comrade Mikhail stated during a broadcast of the American Media Collective.He later went on to praise the work of his Department of Mandatory Health, which will continue to struggle for compulsory treatment of obesity and other destabilizing conditions that threaten the good order of Manhattangrad.”

” Dems’ Epic Smears – Romney’s Nazi Torture Cult “

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  “By now everyone has heard that Mitt Romney Hood is a felon, a tax cheat, and an accomplice to murder – but those current truths only scratch the surface of his deviancy.”

  The People’s Cube recalls being advised to ” not read too much into one month’s ” jobs report a time or two prior to Obama’s latest admonition .

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  “Comrades, as you might have witnessed on your telescreens recently, the June Jobs Report was somewhat less than a rip-roaring “Summer of Wreckovery IV” “Happy Days Are Here Again” success. Our Dear Leader has acknowledged this and but insists we are making progress and
urged us not to read too much into one month’s report.

  The president is surely correct on this point. In fact, I am sure I have heard similar wisdom proffered on other occassions…

  Let me think, where have I heard this before…. Perhaps here …. “

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From The Peoples Cube